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Discussion: A litte help (a different kind of help)
Subject: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Paul B. Written on: 2006-05-08 16:59:07 Message: Hi everybody- A warning—this is a bit long. You all have helped me so much with all of my questions, and now I’ve got to ask you for a different kind of help. When I started training for my first tri, it was purely selfish; I wanted to get in shape after years of loafing around. So I began training in January and I’ve fallen in love with the sport (even though my first race isn’t until June). A couple of months ago, however, my family was hit with a tough blow. My sister-in-law (my brother’s wife) was diagnosed with Stage II Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. She is currently undergoing chemotherapy, and is responding as well as can be expected. We are all hopeful because stage II Hodgkins has a high cure rate. I know many of you have been affected by cancer in some form or another, and I’m sure felt the way I did: completely unable to help. But I have recently found a way to combine my desire to help those affected by cancer with my love of this sport. I joined the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s “Team in Training”. The idea is that we compete in a triathlon in honor of someone affected by blood cancer, and along the way we raise funds for cancer research. The goal is to find a cure. So, instead of racing the sprint distance at the Chicago Accenture triathlon in August, I’ve decided to up it to an Olympic -- because if people are going to be laying out their money, the least I can do is lay out my very best effort. So, what I’m asking from you is, if you have the money to spare, and have the inclination, please donate to the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. You can do that by going to my web-page here: http://www.active.com/donate/tntwi/pbarbato. 75% of the donations go directly to supporting blood cancer research (a pretty good-sized portion as far as these charities go) and of course, they are tax-deductible. Thanks so much everyone. You all have provided great inspiration and support for me.
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Paul B. Written on: 2006-05-08 17:02:50 Message: Sorry. I think the link I put in above is broken. Hopefully this will work: http://www.active.com/donate/tntwi/pbarbato
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Jael A. Written on: 2006-05-08 17:10:25 Message: Paul, you got it! I am going to the website right now. Jael
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Paul B. Written on: 2006-05-08 17:18:04 Message: Thank you so much Jael for the donation. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that. I think when I tell my friends that donations came in from people that I've never met in person, but only on this site, they will be amazed, as I am, at the caliber of people here. Thanks again.
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Dan W. Written on: 2006-05-08 17:35:02 Message: Thanks for letting us know. Your family is lucky to have your support. We wish your sister the very best - I'm glad to hear her treatement is going well. And she must be a tough lady - those three boys appear to be the same age. Best of luck Paul, and congratulations on stepping up for your family. dan
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Dan W. Written on: 2006-05-08 17:36:48 Message: ...I meant that a person would have to be strong to raise three boys that close in age.
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Paul B. Written on: 2006-05-08 17:41:20 Message: Thank you Dan, for the donation and the kind words. Yeah, the three boys are all about 18 months apart in age. You can imagine the noise-level in their house. Patty actually says they keep her grounded at this point, because she's always got something else to think about besides the treatments. Thanks again Dan.
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: bob g. Written on: 2006-05-08 18:21:59 Message: Good Luck to all involved! bob
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Paul B. Written on: 2006-05-08 18:34:36 Message: Thank you very much for the donation Bob. I really can't express my gratitude enough.
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Paul B. Written on: 2006-05-09 10:36:07 Message: Becky S. tried to slip a donation under the radar. I would have kept it a secret, but that kind of anonymous generosity deserves to be recognized. Really, thank you so much Becky. the outpouring of support has been amazing.
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Teresa S. Written on: 2006-05-09 11:49:02 Message: I have a different kind of help for you as well. I am an oncology nurse and I work with these patients all the time. The one thing that I want you to know that I have heard a million times is that it is imperative that you do not hold back anything that you are doing around her. She will want to hear about your training even if she is feeling like crap. I have found that people that I treat are always uplifted by my stories of training and adventure and many times i have invited my patients to come and see a race. it is the best feeling to see them make that effort, becoume a part of the infectious atmosphere at the races, some with masks and in wheelchairs because they cannot walk the distance to the finish line. But they are there because they have to believe in someone and something as well as in the truth that they will beat this disease. If she was ever active before, ask her if she would want to train for a tri after her treatment and offer to coach her. So on those lonely days during some horrible chemo, she can close her eyes and dream of what is going to happen after this, after she reaches this finish line. I have found this to be very helpful for me in dealing with my patients. Once a breast cancer patient told me that she thinks about me during chemo and it makes her smile and sometimes laugh out loud at my antics. I love that I can be that support for my patients/ friends that way. Now you have an opportunity to do the same. It is the best feeling and so much better than looking sad and feeling ackward when you see her. She definately doesn't want that. We tri- geeks are the most positive people in the world. That is your gift to her, and that is what she needs right now. God Bless you and her. I will go to the web site.
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Paul B. Written on: 2006-05-09 12:46:11 Message: Teresa, thank you so much. Your sentiments really struck a chord with me because I remember the first time I heard that she was diagnosed with cancer, I did feel really akward around her and my brother. I just didn't know what to do (I couldn't even prepare meals for them because I'm such a horrible cook). Then, I decided one day that the last thing she and my brother need is somebody hanging around feeling sorry for them, and I made a decision to do anything but. then the Team in Training opportunity came along, and it all fell into place. Now she loves talking about the training, and my "team" in madison, and the whole family is planning on being at the race, cheering me on in August (we have high hopes that the treatments will be completed and she'll be feeling well by then.) I think it's amazing that you are able to lend so much help and hope to your patients. Great work! And thank you again.
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: becky s. Written on: 2006-05-09 17:01:11 Message: Paul, Your welcome. My heart goes out to your family and I think your brother is lucky to have you as his brother. I was very impressed by your assertiveness. My brother and I don't get along at all and I come from a very dysfunctional family so I'm always impressed with families who pull together during a crisis. Becky
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Meagen K. Written on: 2006-05-09 20:39:14 Message: HI!! I am also doing a triathlon for Team in Training in Phoenix, AZ. I also work for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Desert Mountain States Chapter here in Phx. I think Team in Training is a wonderful way for people to raise money for a good cause and at the same time do an endurance event. I will donate to you Paul and my thoughts are with your family. Meagen
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Andy M. Written on: 2006-05-10 09:33:36 Message: Paul, Thanks for letting us know about your sister-in-law. My wife is a breast cancer survivor and I know first hand the trials and tribulations a cancer diagnosis can have on a family. I like to think I am tough when I train and compete in triathlon but I have nothing, absolutely nothing on my wife in that department. Through 7 surgeries, 8 cycles of chemo, 40 sessions of radiation therapy I never once saw her falter or give up. If something knocked her down she would just get back up, again and again. I will keep your family in my prayers. Andy
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Paul B. Written on: 2006-05-10 10:22:14 Message: Thank you Andy for sharing your story. I feel the same amazement at Patty for the way she's handling it. I feel like I would have broken down so easily, but she allowed herself a few tears in the car ride back from the Dr's office when she first found out, then she told herself that would be it for the crying...it's incredible. Your wife sounds like such a strong woman. Thank you also Meagen, for your donation and your sentiments. Please send me a link to your website...turn about is fair play. Thank you again. Paul.
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Paul B. Written on: 2006-05-11 15:48:40 Message: Hey all, I just wanted to thank everyone again. In what must be some kind of fund-raising record, I was able to hit (and exceed) my goal already. It is definitely thanks to you guys. thank you again, I can't tell you how much it means to me. Paul.
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Jael A. Written on: 2006-05-11 16:50:47 Message: Congrats Paul! Kick butt during training and on race day! We will be cheering for you and your family, and most importantly, your Sister-In-Law during her treatment. You are doing a great thing! Jael
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Dan W. Written on: 2006-05-11 17:47:09 Message: Congratulations Paul - that's great!
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Leo d. Written on: 2006-05-15 21:07:41 Message: Paul, I can't believe i missed this message. I am on this site every day. I hope your sister in law is responding well to the chemo and the family is hanging in there. They will be in my prayers. I went to your website and I would encourage all ontri members to visit the site as well. Please keep this tread alive. I have taken the liberty to make a hard copy of your site and I will use it to raise money which I will donate after my race on august 6th. This will give me plenty of time to shake down my family and friends! Hang in there and good luck to you and your family!!! Leo D.
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Jonny F. Written on: 2006-05-15 21:51:44 Message: Paul, I just made a small donation on behalf of ontri.com. I wish you great success in your training and on race day but most importantly to your sister in law for a speedy and healthy recovery. It warms my heart to see all the ontri members who have supported Paul in this cause. Thank you! This is a special community. -Jon Finegold founder, ontri.com
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Leo d. Written on: 2006-05-16 08:31:18 Message: Wow...even the founder of ontri.com made a contribution...Way to go Johnny F. Leo D.
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Chuck H. Written on: 2006-05-16 09:36:33 Message: Hello Paul, I admire your selflessness and the desire to help others. The spirit of your endeavor will carry you through your training and on the day of the event. I will pray for Patty, Mark, Peter, Tommy and Matthew. Remember...all things are possible! I will keep watch of your training to make sure you kick some ass on July 22nd! Be Well, Chuck
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Paul B. Written on: 2006-05-16 10:41:43 Message: This continuing support is truly astounding to me, and I cannot thank you all enough. Jon, you should be proud of the kind of people this site has attracted. Thank you Jon, Leo and Chuck for your donations and your kind words. Patty and Mark have been blown away by the support the campaign has received from ontri alone. It is really inspiring. I have to take a moment to thank the silent donors as well. Loren L., thank you for your donation and your email. And Pamela C. and Elizabeth L, I can't tell which "Pamela C.'s" and "Elizabeth L's" you are, but thank you so very much. I have to admit, I knew that some people would donate, but I really had no idea that you guys would put forth this amount of support. I really cannot thank you enough. I promise to kick some serious tail come race day on behalf of all of you. Paul.
Subject: RE: A litte help (a different kind of help) By: Dan W. Written on: 2006-05-16 13:50:20 Message: The truth is, Paul, that you already have.
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